Is it good to give in to all the demands of your children? How can we decide when to say "YES" and when to say "NO" ? Does a 2 year old need to get toys everytime we go into a supermarket? And let me tell you that this supermarket visit is not once in a month or even once in a week. It is once in 2-3 days. Since the supermarket is pretty close by and on the way to and from the bus stop, everytime we come back from somewhere there is a chance to pop in and buy maybe a bottle of milk or a packet of bread. The fresher the better! But is that an excuse to buy a toddler toys? I mean, even if it not too expensive. Should I be saying YES to all his demands even if we may be able to afford it?
I guess by the tone I set itself, you understand I totally dont think that I should be giving in all his demands. Some may feel that if its affordable then why not buy it for the little child. Its only because I dont want to cultivate a habit where each and every wish of his is fulfilled. Yes, you ask me to buy you a box of strawberries, I will buy it for you. But only as long as there are no strawberries at home. I feel even a 2 year old needs to know that we will buy things that we mostly need. Its not that I am HITLER mom or anything. I do buy small toys for my son once in a month. I buy them when he has shown good behaviour and tell him that this a gift for him helping me and for behaving in a calm way in the supermarket.
And with this little one, I am lucky that he understands. He completely understands that when he behaves well, he will be rewarded. And when he misbehaves, he will be punished. I feel it is important for children to know that a NO means a NO and to be able to accept it. As a 2 year old, my son cries for maybe 30 seconds. When he is calm, I tell him, that we cannot buy toys everyday. We will buy them but after a few days maybe. When he promptly replies "Yes, amma", my heart fills up with so much love that I want to give him a kiss and tell him that he is really a good boy.
Sometimes I also feel guilty when I focus on the "good boy" too much. At times, I try to remove those 2 magic words while asking him to do something. Like if I ask him to help me put the clothes out to dry. I dont say he's a good boy, instead I say "Thank you" and "Love you" and that works fine too.
Ahhh....he's woken up! Time for me to return to my motherly duties :)
I guess by the tone I set itself, you understand I totally dont think that I should be giving in all his demands. Some may feel that if its affordable then why not buy it for the little child. Its only because I dont want to cultivate a habit where each and every wish of his is fulfilled. Yes, you ask me to buy you a box of strawberries, I will buy it for you. But only as long as there are no strawberries at home. I feel even a 2 year old needs to know that we will buy things that we mostly need. Its not that I am HITLER mom or anything. I do buy small toys for my son once in a month. I buy them when he has shown good behaviour and tell him that this a gift for him helping me and for behaving in a calm way in the supermarket.
And with this little one, I am lucky that he understands. He completely understands that when he behaves well, he will be rewarded. And when he misbehaves, he will be punished. I feel it is important for children to know that a NO means a NO and to be able to accept it. As a 2 year old, my son cries for maybe 30 seconds. When he is calm, I tell him, that we cannot buy toys everyday. We will buy them but after a few days maybe. When he promptly replies "Yes, amma", my heart fills up with so much love that I want to give him a kiss and tell him that he is really a good boy.
Sometimes I also feel guilty when I focus on the "good boy" too much. At times, I try to remove those 2 magic words while asking him to do something. Like if I ask him to help me put the clothes out to dry. I dont say he's a good boy, instead I say "Thank you" and "Love you" and that works fine too.
Ahhh....he's woken up! Time for me to return to my motherly duties :)
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