Don't Angry me !

            I am a hot tempered person. I have been that way from quite some time. But I am not a pessimistic person neither an unhappy one. It's just that some situations just anger me more than it would others. I have been that way since a long time. My poor amma would worry so much thinking how I would fare in my "house after marriage". Hahaha! Poor thing she dint know that any amount of worrying would not cause a change in me.
            She used to advice me on lots of methods which would help to control my anger. One was counting numbers backwards. Another one was to say the name of the good Lord ,and hope that at least He would help me out. Finally when she saw that none of this is working for me, she used to tell me to just walk away from the situation, take time to cool off and then come back after I am in a better position to speak calmly. But sadly none of these worked for me when I was young. When I got angry, I just got angry. But as the years passed, people who have known me for quite some time, tell me that my temper is not as bad as it used to be. I feel good when I hear that. But that's  not enough.  I want to be able to control my temper and no do permanent harm to people whom I love. I am capable of saying some really nasty things when I am angry.
               Now that I have a little one, I have to control my temper more. Sometimes I really don't have it in me to control it. But when I see the fear in my son's eyes when I raise my voice or my hand. I feel so so bad. I feel awful. I feel this is not how my 2 year old should be seeing his mother.
              So finally, I am ready to take the tips that my mother gave me years ago. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes I just want to vent out. So I do that. But I tell the person in front of me in advance that this is just me venting out and has got nothing to do with you. I hope some day I will be this peaceful human being who can think rationally and act calmly to all (or at least most) situations. PEACE BE ON ME ! :)