Thursday, March 20, 2014

CSAAM April 2014 - Best Friends Forever

It's that time of the year again when my usually computer allergic mom turns into a net savvy pc romping momma. I don't know what actually happens to her in March and April every year.
But I do remember it's during one of these times that she had explained to me about the bad touch. And does so every year. I think she has been telling me about it since I was 5. Now I am 9. Oh and my name is Riya. I dint quite understand it when she told me the first time. I was full of doubts. I would point out to each and every uncle on the road and ask Amma if he was a good person or not? I dint have a clue as to how I would know a bad person or a bad touch. Finally when I was 8, I started getting a better idea as to what Amma really wanted me to understand. And that was also because of my best friend Mia. Yeah..Our names are similar that was the first reason why we became friends in the 1st standard. But what strengthened our friendship was something else. Last year when Amma gave me the "bad touch" talk. I decided to show off and tell Mia all about it. So in one of the free periods I told Mia all about the bad touch. Mia's face just went blank. She looked as if someone had stolen her pencil plus eraser. I was like..uh oh...did I open my mouth a bit too much. Mia just went away without saying a word to me. Before I could ask her anything the Ma'am came. And then we didn't have a free period. The next day I asked Mia, what had happened. But she just looked at my face and didn't say a thing. I was getting scared now. I thought what if Mia told Ma'am about this. Me and my big mouth. I even blamed my Amma for this. It was hell for a week with Mia not talking to me and me sitting all scared as to when I would be called to the staff room. Finally I summoned all my courage and went to Mia and asked her to tell me what the problem was. To tell me why she was not talking to me. It was the sports period and luckily no one was in the class. She burst out into tears and told me about her neighbour uncle who comes to her house . She realised that he was doing something wrong only when I told her about the bad touch. I was sad and relieved at the same time. Sad to know that Mia was in trouble.  And relieved to know that I was not the cause. I told Mia that she should tell her parents immediately. Mia was very scared to tell them. She felt that they wouldn't believe her. I told her all that my Amma had told me. I tried my best to convince her. She finally said she'll try to tell them and made me promise that I wouldn't tell anyone. I gave in and promised her. Days passed into weeks and still Mia hadn't told her parents. I had almost given up. Finally the day of our first exam, Mia came up to me with a huge smile and kissed my hand and said you are my best friend forever. I was surprised. I asked her what happened. It seems that the neighbour uncle had come the previous day and this time when he tried to touch Mia in her private part, she screamed at the top of her voice (something that my Amma had told me and which I had told Mia). Her parents came running and then finally Mia told them all what had happened. Her parents scolded uncle and threatened to complain to the police if he comes near any child ever again. I was so happy and excited. I finally knew what all Amma wanted me to understand. It helped not only me but my best friend Mia too. Now we are Best Friends Forever.
This year I am going to tell Amma thanks for explaining the bad touch. Mia has told me it's okay to tell my mom.
I hope there was some way that all children in my school would know about this. So that no one is ever touched in a bad way.



DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Friday, March 14, 2014

CSAAM April 2014 - A Bad Touch

Amu was delighted as usual to see that her Pappen had come. He always came with chocolates. She liked him so much since her parents would never buy chocolates for her or her elder brother Arun. They would always say you have those on the fridge that Pappen got for you last week.
She ran to him and waited till he removed his shoes and socks. She was patient. Her Amma was always telling her that she shouldn't hurry so much. That she's a girl and that she should learn to wait and be patient. She wished Amma was watching her at that time, being all patient.
Finally after a small kiss and hug, the chocolates were hers. They would split it always, Arun and her. And he would always finish his portion too quick and come to ask her for more. But she dint mind it since she would eat only one a day. So there would be remaining chocolates in her portion if she dint give Arun.
The next week when Pappen came home, Amu refused to go and meet him. Her parents were very angry with her. Amma tried to persuade her. Told her it's not nice to not meet people when they come home. But whatever anyone said Amu wouldn't just come and meet Pappen. Arun got very irritated with Amu. Pappen was not giving the chocolates to him. He would give them to Amu only. Arun could not control his anger and started shouting at Amu, calling her selfish, bad, monkey, idiot (all the bad words he knew- he was just 9 and she 5). Amu asked Arun to stop but he wouldn't. He wanted the chocolates at any cost. He told her to go and get the chocolates and then only will he stop.
Amu finally gave up and decided to go and take the chocolates from Pappen. Her hands and legs were shivering, there were drops of sweat on her forehead. Finally she reached in front of Pappen, she looked up at him. And in his eyes she saw her ABUSER! When he gave her the chocolates she just took them and ran. His touch on her hand was not the right touch it was...It was a BAD TOUCH.

A mother was born

Waiting for 32 hours was not an easy task. They had said the journey will take time. All alone she had started to doubt herself, would she be able to do it?She hadn't imagined it would take this long. She wished that her husband was with her. The journey was planned and prepared for. She dint realise that however well prepared she was, she could never be fully prepared. Finally they told her that the journey was reaching its end. The baby was born at 11.33 am. It was a boy! It was finally over.The journey of hers into motherhood.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

A letter to little Vi

Hi dear fellow,

You are now becoming more and more of an individual nowadays. You are just 19 months but I see that now you are very well capable of communicating your needs and requirements ..and cause a ruckus when they are not met (which does make me angry and laugh at the same time...hehe..)watch tchoupi and doudou over and over again...say few words in Malayalam, some in English  and maybe some in French too although till now I have only been able to make out one that's Au Revoir.

There are a lot of things Amma wants to tell you. A lot of things Amma wants you to learn...its not academics or any sort of thing like that. It is mainly life lessons or rather how Amma would like you to be as a person in this world. 

Firstly, have lot of friends.  But always have a few best friends with whom you can share everything.  With whom you don't have to hide anything. Who you can fall back on in the time of a crisis or who will rejoice with you in your happiness. I know you are a boy n will grow up to be wonderful man but it's ok to have a shoulder to cry on. Let it be a girl or a boy. Let it be one or two or even 3. But let there be at least someone. Who is your friend and also friends with your wife and your kids. A family friend. Amma would love to have something like that for you. And I tell you now Vi, the only way to have such a friend is to be one like that.  Be a shoulder for someone else. Be the anchor in someone's life. Be the person 1,2 or 3 people can depend on with all their secrets, their pain and sorrow. Be the person who rejoices in their happiness. Be there for people. Don't be insular. Amma would never want that for you. 

Secondly, have respect for women. Any age, size, shape. Respect women and show that respect. I will tell you an example of how a young man shows his respect. And how he earns the respect of a lady much elder to him. One day this young man, a cousin of your Papa, was invited to go to lunch with Papa and Amma. He was studying for a course there in bangalore. Amma had you at that time and you were a small baby. We were all getting into the car and Amma was usused to doing everything by herself, carrying you, your baby bag and getting into the car on her own. When this young boy or rather as I said before young man saw me getting in, he got out of the car quick, took Amma's bag and asked Amma to get in the car comfortably. He waited till we were safe inside and closed the door after we had settled in. After that only he got into the car. Amma was so amazed and impressed by his behaviour that I have a respect for him always. Although I have met him only few times I know I will never forget him nor his actions.  And Vi, this was not a one time incident. Every time Amma travelled with you, if he was there, he would make sure that he closes the door after we get it. It shows the amount of respect he has for ladies.

So you should learn to be a gentleman. 

Passing comments on various girls and women and their attire may be in fashion even when you grow up. But dear boy, I am telling you it is not a nice thing to do. Just think how would you feel if someone says something nasty about Amma or if you have a sister about your sister. Or just think how you would feel if you are being commented upon by a group of girls along with some sly looks...ewww..makes Amma's skin crawl when I think about the times men n boys have passed comments on Amma. It's not a good feeling dear. I don't like it and I m sure 100% or maybe 90% of the people will not like it either.

So no comments! ;)

There are a lot more things that I want to tell you but maybe next time in the next letter.

Au revoir !!

~Amma

Friday, March 25, 2011

Steps to getting what you WANT

Just as I was thinking about this particular subject -getting what we want in life, I thought let me google that and see what comes up :D and totally not to my surprise, there were LOTS of sites which said "Top 7 tips to get what you want" while another gave a discounted number of steps of "5 steps to getting anything you want"..hehehe..I thought if I search a little more I could reduce the number of steps to maybe a 3 step/1 step ;)
So it is because of the lack of these supposedly 'n' steps that we take, that what we want slips away from our hands? I don't think so..Like Madam Ogie said in the movie "Princess and the Frog" - what we NEED is more important that what we WANT. Confusing??
OK Lemme explain..you might want a big car, a beautiful house, a lovely wife, an awesome job....you would be thinking if I have all that, I would be happy and satisfied. NO! Because these are all your wants..behind which there lies some needs. Some very basic needs..the need to be loved, the need to be cared for, the need of security. It is basically these needs that we need to cater to in life(Just my opinion!)
I think the basic need of any human being is to love and be loved. The world would be tranformed if just that little thing is there in all human beings towards everything in their life. I have always felt that we have no clarity as to what we want in life ..ok lemme remove the 'WE' and make it 'I' cos u never know there may be awesome people who know exactly what they want in life and go after that and achieve it. But then what? Once you have achieved what you want, what to do with the rest of your life? Find a new WANT? I have felt in many cases that for me, not getting what I wanted at that particular time has turned out to be a blessing. It may be the case for many of you since we don't really know if that what we want is really something that we need.
This does not mean that you should not want anything in your life :) I only mean to say that anything that you want is available to you in the Universe, but really really think if that is what you need.
Once you have found what your WANT really is..which would be more of a NEED, there will be no force in the Universe that can stop you from getting that.
So now you know the 1 step way to get what you want;)

Monday, December 27, 2010

Mom's the word!!

So there I was sitting in the car, waiting for the signal to turn green...looking outside the window when suddenly one of the usual beggars that we see at traffic signal comes up to our window. I look away that very instant b'cos I don't want her to think I will give her any money....through the corner of my eye I watched her fade away to the background to the vehicles behind, tapping at car windows, pleading at the people in the rickshaw. I noticed she had a sling that was hanging from her shoulder and a small child..an infant in it. A small tremor of sadness crossed my mind...was it her kid? Was she begging for food to give the child? Was she the mother?

Somehow my thoughts went back to my own mom
. It is not everyday that we realize the importance of our mothers. Realize the sacrifices they did for us, the troubles they took bringing us up. I was so used to having my Amma in my life..I took her for granted. She who would do anything for me without complaints, without me requesting, without expecting anything in return..I mean who would do such things for you without expecting anything in return. Not even a simple thanks..not even a good word..which we miss to give too.

My mom has never talked about the things she has done for me or complained about me not giving her due importance. Instead she forgave many of my mistakes, put me closer to her and showed me that she would be there for me. The love of a mother is indeed amazing. I mean I think it is a special power that God gives to mothers that they are able to unconditionally love their children, come what may :)

It's true like someone said "God created mothers cause he couldn't be there for all". My Amma is surely my gift from God. She is simple, honest, compassionate and loves all of us 3 kids in so subtle a way that we never knew her love until we were a little deprived of it.
Another thing that I love and is sooooooooooo SPECIAL about my Amma is that she never finds fault with a person, she always says it is the circumstance in which they are that makes them look bad. Everyone has goodness in them. She evens manages to happily forgive and even help those who have hurt her in many ways....I truly think these positive vibes have always helped me in life to be a positive person(although I may falter at times :):))

My Amma is surely a blessing in my life. I am indeed Blessed
to have her in my life. My many thanks to the Lord for the wonderful mother that I have. I love my Amma so mach and I hope I'll be able to give the same to my kids.I believe any goodness that I have in me is because of my mom! She is the bestest of the best!!!

So to all the moms and moms-to-be, being a mom is not about buying expensive gifts, fulfilling all requirements that your child puts forward. It's about being able to love unconditionally.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Parayu ...Nee Parayu...

This is my all time favourite malayalam song. It is a soul touching rendering by Unni Menon. He has also acted in this movie. This is one of those songs that you will never get tired of listening :). Its not just the music or the rendering that makes this songs so special..it is also the lyrics that are really very .....i dont know wat to say for that :P
The base line of the lyrics is that the singer(the hubby) sings that even though I dont show any love towards you externally(the wife), how do you understand the love that I have in my heart for you...awwwwwwww....isnt that romantic :D..used to love it b4 marriage and love it after marriage too :)
Sharing the lyrics of this extremely melodious and meaningful song:

Oru Chempaneer Pooviruthu Njan Omalle..
Oru Vela Ninnerkku Neettiyilla..
Enkillum Engane Neeyarinju..
Ente Chempaneer Pookunnathay Ninakkai..
Sugandham Parathunathayi Ninakkai..
Parayu...Nee Parayu..

Oru Chempaneer Pooviruthu Njan Omalle
Oru Vela Nin Nerku Neetiyila

Akame Niranja Snehamaa..
Mathuryam Oru Vaakinal Thottu Njan Nalkiyilla
Nira Neelaraavile Ekandathayil
Nin Mizhiyile Nannavoppi Machathilla
Enkillum Nee Arinju
En Ninavennum Nin Ninvariyunathayi
Ninne...Thazunkunathayi..
Oru Chempaneer......Hmmmm

Thanniye Thelinja Bhavamaam
Shree Raagam Oru Maathra Nee Othu Njan Mooliyilla
Pularmanju Peyyunaa Yamathillum
Nin Mridhu Meni Onnu Thalodiyilla
Enkillum.. Nee Arinju
En Manamennum Nin Manam Ariyunnathaayi
Ninne ...Punnarunnathaay

Oru Chempaneer Pooviruthu Njan Omalle
Oru Vela Ninnerku Neetiyilla
Enkillum Engane Neeyarinju
Ente Chempaneer Pookunnathaay Ninakkaayi
Sugandham Parathunnathayi Ninakkai
Parayu...Nee Parayu..
Parayu...Nee Parayu..

Oru Chempaneer Pooviruthu Njan Omalle
Oru Vela Nin Nerku Neetiyilla....